Santa Barbara, PKs, & St. Vincent

So I'm definitely ready to be done with school and be on my ISP trip. I'm starting to experience what they call "senioritis." I find myself wanting to sleep in and miss classes, not do my absolute best on assignments, and dream about what it will be like outside of this place. Just a few more weeks ... I can do it.

The flag above is the St. Vincent flag. It's way better than ours. My trip is fast approaching and I'm ready to go. Fund raising is still an issue ... I've been able to raise half of what I need. If you have any ideas for raising money let me know ...

This weekend I am going to a Pasor's Kid retreat. I'm going as a counselor/music leader. Mike is running the show - him, another PK counselor (from CBU), and a pastor's kid from our church and myself are leaving tomorrow afternoon for Santa Barbara. I hope it runs as smoothly as we hope. It should be a pretty laid back time to hang out and meet PK, but most importantly, allow these PKs to connect to each other. I'm excited to slow down on a weekend instead of speed up.

To be honest, it's going to be cool to skip church on Sunday. Montia got a guy, Steve Brown, to do the music.. It will be nice to not worry about looking, sounding, or being a dork on stage this week. I pray that God will be praised both at Mag and in Santa Barbara where we will be.

adios

Spring Break

Spring Break '07 recap:

Monday afternoon Whitney and I left for Irvine. Whitney's roomate's dad is like a billionaire and owns a condo in a huge building where other billionaires live. It was incredible and fancy.

From there we left for San Clemente where we stayed until Thursday night. We stayed with our friends Travis and Haylie Collins. There were 9 or 10 people staying there with them (all people from CBU - mostly girls). Us boys stayed in the guest room. Travis and I shared a bed for 2 nighs - I was glad to sleep alone in my bed last night. Tuesday it rained and Wednesday was nice.

Wednesday night Whitney and I drove to Hollywood to watch Wicked at Panteges theater. It was really good - I'm definitely a fan of musical theater. That's the second play I've seen at Pantages. The first was The Lion King.

Thursday was another beach day - I think I got a little burned. Then we drove back to riverside. Overall, it was a good break. The pace was slow (meaning I got bored sometimes), but it was a good change from the regular schedule. Now I have to push through the last 6 weeks of college, and then ... graduation!

Blazers

Today my ISP team is raising funds by going to watch a TV show taping. I'm pretty excited about it actually ... I've never been to a taping before. The show is new, I was told it is an improv-type show. I'm not positive about the name, but it's something like "who's at the door." I guess they are going to have some kind of movie or tv star enter a door on the set and walk into a scene where they have no idea what's going on. It has potential to be pretty funny. I have to wear a blazer - I think this is the first time I've had to wear a required blazer for something. I wonder how a coat got the name blazer. Maybe it was a loyal coat that earned its owners trust and so he named it - then it stuck.

Anyhow, my team is raising like 20 bucks or so per person and were bringing about 15 people .... so thats ... $300. Excelent.

Welcome to March

I have been blessed to hear from a few old friends in the past few days. I've finally sent out my support letters for my ISP trip. At the end I asked people to e-mail me so I can send them updates and such. It's neat to hear from them and hear how things are going in their lives.

March should be a pretty good month. It is the 2nd to last month of my college experience ... weird. There's not a whole lot going on at church except for a Koinonia worship night. That will be interesting since we've never done that before, but I'm excited. Also, Mike and I are leaving at the end of the month to go to a Pastor's kid retreat. Mike is organizing it, I'm going as a the music guy i think. It should be pretty cool.

ISP intensive training

This last weekend was nuts. I had an all day class on Saturday (now i'm CPR certified), was a part of an ISP worship band, led music at my church on Sunday, and all of this was on top of the already INTENSIVE training that lasted from Friday night to Sunday evening.

The training was definitely intense. Some things we did:
- I had to literally beg for my dinner Saturday night. I was given a bowl of rice for me and 4 others to share, then we had to beg from the rich people who ate huge dinners at nice tables for food; only, they weren't allowed to give the beggars food. I was hungry: catch 22 as Michael Scott would say ...

- Sunday morning I was awakened by yelling leaders demanding we get dressed in 3 minutes and go outside for prayer. We couldn't even brush our teeth. As I walked outside I heard an Islamic call to prayer being sung ... I felt like I wasn't at CBU anymore. I was scared I would have to bow and pray to Allah. We were led in a prayer that Muslims would pray, only we prayed to Jesus (so I bowed).


- Sunday all the girls wore coverings over their heads. They couldn't walk in front of us guys, sit down before us, eat before we were served ... they couldn't even look at us. The guys were told not to look at the girls and that we would be making all decisions, and have to be served by the girls all day ... not bad huh? It was terrible. It was eye-opening. I felt like a jerk all day.

- I went to my church on Sunday ... I had to slip out of our training for a little while. I didn't feel American at church. It was weird. After worshiping God like different cultures do all weekend, I was forced back into American worship. There was literally a 2 minute transition from an Islamic church service (again, we worshiped Jesus) to an American Christian church service for me. Even though it hadn't been but a few hours into "Islamic day," I experienced culture shock going back into American church. It was more than a culture shock too ... it was spiritual shock. It kind of messed me up on Sunday when I was at church.

I'm super excited about my trip and my team now ... I can't wait for June.

Blogging

It’s been a while since I’ve posted …

I’m going to try to be more consistent with my blogging. I realized some of its benefits the other day:

1. you remember funny things that happened to you in the past
2. a couple of people may give some input or advice on any given situation
3. its basically journaling, which is a discipline I’d like to develop

So here’s my kick-off blog, the blog that starts my consistent blogging

This week was pretty rad. Here’s some highlights:

- Seek Week at school, it was the best seek week since I’ve been here.

- Voddie Bauchaum (sp?), he’s an amazing communicator – very intelligent apologetics teacher, using logic, scripture, and personal stories to educate and challenge

- Shane and Shane concert – traditionally my favorite musicians, they were awesome. They sing perfectly with ease, guitar skills that would make you salivate, and a heart to worship that makes a ‘concert’ church.

- Phil Wickham opened for the Shanes, he also is super good. I’ve had his CD in my car for the past month. Phil led me to the throne as well

- Meeting with Pastor Montia about my future at Mag. There is nothing set in stone, but it’s nice to be wanted still in the future. Things will be figured out closer to graduation

- Disneyland last night. Whitney and I went out for our Valentines day date because the 14th is a Wednesday and I’ll be at church. We ate at Tortilla Joe’s in the Downtown Disney walk then went into the park . Tortilla Joe’s was amazing – get the floutas – I inhaled them.

- I started reading “Deep Ministry in a Shallow World” its by Chap Clark and a woman … Kara something (its not in front of me at the moment). So far, so good. It’s all evaluating your ministry, constantly thinking about how to deepen it, its not a model of ministry, but a model of evaluating ministry. It’s nice to be reading for fun again.


Lowlights:

- for the past few weeks now our bedroom in the apartment has been smelling. It still smells

- today is laundry day

- starting an 8 pager at 11.30pm Wednesday night, it was due Thursday at 11am.

Closest Book Meme

The rules are:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next four sentences on your blog, along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest!


Here it is, from the Tyndale Bible Dictionary:
(wierd, i opened it up to page 123)

"The three centuries from about 1200 to 900 BC were marked by movements of different peoples such as the Greeks, Philistines, Arameans, and Hebrews."

Under pressure of people migrating from Europe, the Hittite Empire, which formerly had given political stability to Asia Minor and protected the trade routes, crumbled rapily. By 1200 BC it fell to attacks by the Sea Peoples form the Greek mainland. During the tenth entury BC, Assyria began to make a slow recovery. In the reign of Adad-nirari II (911-891 BC), Assyria again launched upon a period fo conspicuous economic and military expansion.

superhero

I took a quiz thing for RA stuff:


Your results:
You are Iron Man

Iron Man 70% The Flash 65% Robin 60% Spider-Man 60% Green Lantern 60% Superman 50% Catwoman 50% Wonder Woman 50% Hulk 45% Supergirl 45% Batman 20%

Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

random plans / thoughts

(i love my macbook)














- I got Andy Stanley's 'communicating for change' and started it. I'll probably finish it this weekend. Its good

- Whitney is gone for the weekend at a powder puff football tournament.

- I have to write 2 10 page papers this weekend.

- I'm going on a bike ride today because I haven't gone in a while. I'm riding with my friend who rode across the country this summer.

- My ISP (international service project) interview yesterday went really well. I'm excited to see what God is doing with me right now.

I'm excited

OK, i'm super excited about my next semester class schedule. Here it is (from hardest/most demanding to easiest):

- Marriage and the Family in Christian Community. I'm excited to take this one with Whitney.
- Ministry with Youth. Professor Mike Lovato will be my instructor. It will be cool/a little wierd, but mostly cool.
- Jazz History. I'll bring my tobacco pipe and dark shades to class.
- Current Trends in Youth Ministry. This will be another directed studies course. I'll just read books on my own.
- Old Testament Survey. Thats right, the freshmen, non-CST major Bible class. I'll be there with Dr. Mooney.
- Bowling. Monday from 3.30 - 5.30, i'm pumped
- Tennis. Monday from 6.30 - 8.00 a night full of kinesiology!
- Outdoor Adventure. One saturday all day of playing on a high ropes course. How cool.

I think this schedule will really be a nice change from the hectic schedule of this semester, plus it's my last as a traditional college student. These are the only obstacles between me and a B.A.

Weird.

a proud parent

Today my friend David Massey took the reigns of the 9.30 service and led the music for worship. He comes from a heavy metal / hard core background. He definitely brought some edge to the service. All of the feedback has been positive so far. It was pretty fun to play with the band, I've not often had the chance to be let loose on the guitar - which means I don't really know how to let loose. But it was fun.

Hopefully the church finds a new 9.30 music guy. I feel like it may happen soon. I did enjoy the chance to lead the music, but what was more fun for me (i realized this sunday) was to build the team. It wasn't until I was standing at the back of the stage, looking at the whole band leading the congregation in worship, and me not leading the band that i realized God has blessed my leadership efforts. I was like a proud parent watching their kid stand on stage and be the tree, or hit their first tee-ball. OD affirmed me the other day and said that he sees natural leadership abilities in me. I think this is something I need to try to develop and seek God to develop in me.

wednesday night thoughts

I gave the message tonight for HS church. I think I feel ok about it: nothing less, nothing more. I feel it was ok.

I definitely can see some things I need to work on as far as delivering a message:

1) work on transitions between thoughts. I think I was a bit rough / choppy when transfering to another point

2) time. I went too long. Time goes a lot faster when you are the one speaking.

3) engaging the audience. I think I did decent in delivering the message, but perhaps could have done better to engage the students. I want things to sink in - even if it's just one of the point among many. My recent thoughts about delivering a message is that the audience will only remember one or two things; whether its an illustration, a point well developed, or one of those "ah-ha" moments when something clicks. I think speakers usually offer more than just a few good points, but the audience tends to remember only one or two. These thoughts mostly come from my experience as an audience member, not a speaker. But, I could be wrong...

Things I felt that I did well:

1) I think there was like 2 times that I felt funny. One was when I said something about unrine being talked about in the Bible.

2) I could be totally wrong, but I felt that there was minimal chatter as I spoke. There was a few times I slowed down or even paused so that things would settle. Also, I think numbers were down tonight, so that helped the chatter level.

3) I did't look backwards at the screens to see if the right slide was up. I don't like when speakers do that.

4) preparation time was decent. I didn't feel unprepared. I learned to work more, though, on transitions.

Overall, it was an ok night.

Mike showed me how to fossil hunt and it's funny.

Lost sucked tonight.

the refresher

so, I decided that my place in music ministry has been to be the guy who is a solid last minute fill inner (for the most part). I think I've only said no like 2 times for doing music for something. A lot of the time it's another thing to put in my schedule - when I'm asked to lead the music for something.

The exception was tonight. I was asked last minute to lead some music for a church plant that meets in a house. Chad, the regular music guy, was sick today so Shannon Murray (the leader of the church plant) called me up after lunch and asked if I could do some music for them that night. I agreed.

I was refreshed. This time it didn't feel like adding something into my schedule. I wanted to be there. It felt natural to be there and lead music for 20ish people in a living room. I think I've found the venue I was created for. Not only was it neat to sing with a few others, but having church in a home was pretty awesome.

Pro's and Con's:

+ small group equals conversational style sermon which is cool
+ I really have a lot of respect for Shannon, he's an ex-missionary with a kingdom worldview
+ comfortable atmosphere, very relaxed
- some people sing loud and off tempo/key in small settings
- babies crying and running around during sermon/lesson
+ mixed age group hanging out, a good chance for me to connect with some adults
- there's always one guy that has something to say about everything
+/- sitting on the floor, its cool cause it more relaxed, but my back started to hurt (something to think about before sitting in the open next week)
+ God was the center of every activity
+ accountability: it's harder to hide in a smaller group


I think I'll go next week. Whitney is excited to join me. I may be becoming a big fan of home churches (under the umbrella of denominational association).

"the talk"

So I did talk with Mike about the whole burnout thing. He gave some really good advice and is helping me to un-burnout. His advice was:

make a weekly schedule, super detailed by hours

take a weekend off. he suggested going to Beaumont to just do nothing for a weekend and go to Whitney's church with her.

reconnect with God, not only plan times to be with God in my weekly schedule, but he's gonna let me not teach Sunday morning Bible Study in order to go to a class and be fed.

Now I just need to do these things. I'm a bad procrastinator. I always say I'll get that done soon, but never end up getting to it. This is my chance to change that. I'm printing out a weekly schedule right now ...

I concur

So i've been reading some blogs recently about ministry burnout. Mike talked about being close to it, and his friend Josh is there. This past month I've been feeling the symptoms, i think. I guess it's the time of year...

I think my major problem is this distance I'm feeling from God. Things aren't the same. Its almost like I got too busy with ministry for Him. Ya, thats stupid, but I think I did it. That led to a sort of dissatisfaction with the ministry I'm doing. Josh talked about losing joy in the ministry he knows he was made for - a phenomenon I thought impossible but am realizing that I'm experiencing myself.

The remedy ...

I'm not sure. Definitely some away, intentional time with God. I've really been feeling Him coaxing me to Him this past week - and it's time to take him up on that offer. Also, I need to figure out my schedule. I need to figure out what i need to do and put times in my week to do them. Another problem I've been having is being 100% there wherever I am. I jump from student to R.A. to HS associate to 9.30 worship leader to boyfriend back to student several times a day. I need to learn to be where I am totally and not be distracted by my next role.

I just got really distracted by my roomate Tim. He's funny. I just decided to change the look of my blog.

Since I'm pretty sure Mike's going to be the only one to read this (maybe nicole, maybe lucas), i'll just plan on taking to him (you) sometime this week. We can share near burnout stories and pray for each other and talk about practical things we can do. I've come to realize that mike is all about practical things and "fleshing out" what they "look like" ... "quasi."

school school school school school

So it has begun. I sit here in Wanda's at the start of the third week of school already behind in assignments for all 4 of my classes. So I blogg.

I seem to be losing at lots of things lately. Like one, I lost like 3 ebay bids this week. Two, I have lost the desire to eat at the caf already. Three, I am really into watching the 2nd season of Lost on DVD with my roomates. Four, I'm in a losing battle with school, and I fear I'll keep losing. Five, I lost a friend last night to a motorcycle accident.

Pray for Kyle's family. Kyle died yesterday evening in a motorcycle accident. He was a Jr. or Senior here at CBU. Pray for his girlfriend Sara. Sara and I went on a mission trip together to Panama.

I ran 3 and a half miles last night and felt really good. I don't even feel sore today. Maybe I'll get those sweet Nike shoes that connect to my ipod nano and tell me all the stats of my run. Perhaps one day a triathalon for me?

emotionally retarded

This week has been strange.

I think God is definitely working on me. I’ve told before about how God is humbling me and that I feel Him working. Being humbled is not really fun. It’s embarrassing actually. That has been the overwhelming emotion lately.

Today I talked with Mike about some feelings I’ve been having about ministry. He had some really good thinks to say – and made me feel not alone in some of my thoughts. I think I’m a questioner. I don’t like to say doubter, but questioner. I’ve been thinking about whether or not I’m supposed to be in ministry at all. Pretty heavy stuff for a guy that’s studying ministry at school, currently working at a church with 2 semi (or as Mike would say quasi)-important roles, and planning on attending seminary after graduation. My fear is that I would assume my way to these positions – assume that this is where God wanted me just because I found myself there. I don’t want to do that. It brings about strange emotions that I’m not quite sure I can express. It’s sort of a yearn for intimacy with God like I’ve never had mixed with humility and introvertedness (I’m not sure if those are necessarily emotions, but whatever they are that’s what I’m feeling).

Also, one of my good friend’s dad just died tonight. I’m not quite sure how to deal with that either. I think I’m emotionally retarded. When I found out about his death, one of my first thoughts was, “I wish there was a book I could read to tell me how to react.” I am mostly just really sad for my friend. I know his dad is in heaven right now, but that doesn’t make things happy, really. Sure it makes it better.

And lastly me and whitney just got Costco cards together. That’s what married people do. That sort of brings up other, much stranger to me, emotions.

I like that journaling (I prefer journaling to blogging) gives me freedom to just say what I think, even if it’s wrong or insensitive. It’s just me. Plus I think only Mike reads these anyway - and he knows me pretty well.

I'm a mac

So it's true. I bought a MacBook the other day. I've fallen in love all over again. I had no idea that all the trouble and confusion in my life was because I was using a PC. My life is wonderful now that I'm a mac. Everything is simple and user-freindly. Also, I've heard that macs can't get viruses - but then I just heard (the day i bought it) that there are some new viruses made for macs that really mess them up. If that's true, i'm still better off because there are only a few, and I'll try to avoid the 'download mac viruses' webpages.

School starts soon and I'm excited to put her to good use.

Under Construction

RA training is almost over! I cannot wait until the routine of school kicks in. However much I enjoy not being tied down to a set routine, I think the horror of constant business outside of a routine is worse.

I think I'm pretty drained. It's a good thing though. Almost like I am passing "Go" after a super long journey around the board (if I may use a Monopoly analogy). I definitely think that God has been working in me. Since I've been stressed/drained daily I feel broken before Him a lot. It's good for me to soak up this perspective of humility before Him. I'm going to try to work on it for even when I'm not stressed/drained.

Thanks God for still working on me.

Book Meme

Here it is:


1. One book that changed your life: Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Cymbala (Jim I think?) I picked this one up from my dad's bookshelf for no good reason. I read it and realized how naked my prayer life was. It's an incredible testimony of what prayer can do. Be careful ... it's convicting.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once: Grapes of Wrath. Once in High School and once in College. I didn't like it the first time, but I did the second time. It mentions Fresno at the end, for all who care about Fresno.

3. One book you’d want on a desert island: Guinness Book of World records. I've always found myself pre-occupied with these books when in school or the doctors office. I think it would take up a good amount of my lonely time on the island, plus it might inspire me to do something like build the worlds largest sand castle ... then live in it.

4. One book that made you laugh: Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. Mike, who tagged me to do this list, wrote that book for his answer - and i simply deleted his commentary to put in mine, cause we have the same answer. My favorite chapter is the one about penguin sex.

5. One book that made you cry: Well, I don't know if I cried ... but it was close. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. Its a novel based on the story of Hosea (the prophet in the Bible). Whitney wanted me to read it cause it's a mooshy love story. I haven't finished it yet, but plan to. And I didn't cry.

6. One book you wish had been written: I wish my dad wrote a journal of his life growing up til present and gave it to me. I think I would have learned a lot from that one.

7. One book you wish had never been written: Great Expectations. I had to read it in 7th grade! Who does that? It was horrible for my little mind to read that old English and try to understand. It definitely turned me off to reading for a while ... until Harry Potter came out.

8. One book you’re currently reading: Hurt: inside the world of today's teenagers. I should have finished it by now, but I'm working on it.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: Purpose Driven Youth Ministry by Fields. It's on my desk staring at me.

10. One book you’d like to write: I don't know that I have anything to say/teach yet. Maybe someday I could write about my bivocational experience as a Youth Pastor and owner of a Pizza Parlor. I like pizza.